Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Ummm Maam, Can you move your bag?

Okay so it's rush hour.  Everyone and their mom is on this train and you cannot have a two seat-er to yourself.  And don't think that because you are pretending to be asleep with your head resting against the window (leaving a big grease spot) that I will not tap your shoulder and ask you to move.

I know you are tired from having worked all day long.  I know you don't want to put your bag in your lap because it's uncomfortable.  I know you would rather stretch out and rest better for your ride home.  Guess what?  It ain't goin' happen Cap'n.  Move it or lose it.  I'm tired too and I have an hour ride too and my bag is heavy too.

And don't let me start on these people that see a pregnant woman or an elderly person and refuse to acknowledge them and relinquish their seat for them.  That's just despicable.  Move your rude, uncivilized self up off that chair and let them sit down.  Do you not have any home training at all?

And shut yo mouf up.  Why are you talking all loud about your personal business?  We do not care about the girl who called your man's phone after midnight, or how your job paid you late and you told off your manager, or how you can't wait till the weekend so that you can go to the club and get your drink on.

Sit down, face forward, be quite, put your hands in your lap and stop getting on other people's nerves.

That is all.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Why Are You Running???

Good Afternoon Passangers.  I have a question for you.  Why Are You Running?

Humor me.  It's morning rush hour and most people transfer at a major station in order to switch metro lines.  You may stop at L'Enfant Plaza or Metro Center. 

1. You know that sometimes your switch involves going upstairs or downstairs. 
2. You know during rush hour trains run every 1, 2 or 3 minutes.

So..........Why the heck are you lacing up your track shoes as the doors chime and sprinting to your connecting train knocking people's bags off their shoulder, pushing people into one another, and knocking people down?  If you are that late for work then stay home.  If you are not that late for work then you should have left your home station 60 seconds earlier so that we don't have to deal with your manic behavior.

Have you seen this person?  It starts with them getting up from their seat 2 stops away from their departure point.  They stand in the door way (a small bead of sweat forming on their brow and above their lip).  As the train approaches their stop they place their fingertips on the crack of the door as if to encourage them to open before we come to a complete stop.  By the time the doors chime and the computer voice announces that the doors are opening they are running in place.  As soon as the doors open they take off with fire on their heels totally oblivious to their surroundings.  They dodge in and out of traffic, take the steps 2 and 3 at a time, run down the platform, just in time to hear the chime and see the doors to their next train closing with them on the outside of those doors.  Huffing and puffing they reach out and let the train run pass their fingertips with a look of total defeat on their face.

Here's my advice.  Take your time sir and ma'am.  Another train will come soon.  Slow down a bit so that everyone can get to their destination in one piece.  I promise another train will come soon.

That is all for now.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

What do you call a broken escaltor?

...Stairs.  Ha Ha

I've opened with a bit of humor to a very real issue on Metrorail.  In most cases the escaltor on Metrorail is working; God bless those engineers.  That means that the stairs don't stop moving.  They keep the flow of traffic flowing on the escalator so that there won't be any arguements, incidents, accidents and delays.

That brings me to two very important rules of Metrorail1. On the escalator you can stand on the right but you must walk on the left.  2. Once you reach the bottom of the escalator MOVE OUT OF THE WAY.  My apologies.  Let me regain my composure.

The highest traffic level on metro, as it is on the road, is during rush hour-getting to work and coming from work.  There must be a common knowlegdge of how to operate during these times.

Rule 1. On the escalator you can stand on the right but you must walk on the left:
The typical escaltor can fit two people side by side on the steps.  I get that.  But out of courtesy of people who actually have somewhere to go I ask that you and your friend stand one behind the other on the right hand side of the escalator and let the rushing passers-by walk down the escalator on the left hand side.  I realize that this may cause you to have to twist and turn to carry on your conversation but it is totally necessary to the proper flow of traffic during busy times of day.  In addition it may save you from getting cussed out by a person who is a little less saved than myself.

Rule 2. Once you reach the bottom of the escalator move out of the way.
As mentioned before, escalators, when in working condition, don't stop moving.  It's one continuous movement reminiscent of a conveyor belt.  The difference is at the bottom of an escalator you run the risk of getting caught and cut up by the sharp grooves in the stairs as they are swallowed by the machine or being toppled over by the hundreds of people trying to get down to the bottom of the escalator where you stand and make decisions on which way to turn. (that wasn't a run-on sentence was it)
Anyway, when you reach the bottom, or top for that matter, of an escalator, kindly step to the side so that the rest of us can safely maneuver off and catch our next train.  Clearly we can't catch the one that is currently sitting on the platform, doors ajar.

Following these 2 simple rules can make everyone's Metrorail experience more enjoyable.

Stay tuned for more from Metro Etiquette.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010


Good Afternoon Readers,

My name is Angel S. and I'm a frequent metrorail rider in the Washington, D.C./MD area.
If you too ride Metrorail then you know that there is always something to see and talk about involving D.C.'s Metrorail.  From fights and rowdy kids to lude acts and mentally unstable riders there will be a plethera of sights about which can be written.

If I may warn you in advance; a great deal of this blog may be politically incorrect and filled with truths considered social taboo and thus I suggest that there be some parental controls for young readers.  With that being said I also have some things that will be directed to the younger crowd in regard to their behavior on said Metrorail and will try to write it as unemotional and elequently as possible.

Please enjoy these posts that will be the stories of others, ideas of my own, and video (if available) of the incredible goings on of D.C.'s Metrorail.

Please post replies, suggestions, and stories of your own.